Teddy Daniels is a man. You can’t miss the guy. When he walks into a room, belly first, and ass-end last, you know he is there. Teddy is charismatic, like a water buffalo is in many ways – graceful, and delicate, but you don’t want him walking past your Precious Moments collection on the shelves, ya know?
Teddy Daniels is a NEW RESIDENT in the Outer Banks of North Carolina. The residents of OBX already know – because they’re asking “WTF?!”
Teddy Daniels is RECENTLY married to a new wife (#4, maybe #5 – relationships are complicated for him). It can be said he was grandfathered into the Outer Banks of Dare County, NC. – but maybe was married in West Virginia because … well, it’s West Virginia.
Teddy Daniels was actually in the US ARMY. You do not salute him, because he was a Private – First Class (PFC) which means he enlisted. Thanks to a video he decided to create while in Afghanistan, we all have seen documented evidence that he was there, slipped on a rock, began to tumble and fall, and most likely revealed his position to enemies. Teddy took indiscriminate fire, because any reasonable enemy would shoot at you, if you’re falling down the damn mountain.
Teddy Daniels learned in that moment, the enemy can hit rocks with bullets, and received ‘fragment’ wounds or what real operators call “a graze” wound. The critical injury was a broken ankle. It’s our opinion Teddy Daniels left his patrol to film a ‘home movie’ style to send back home (we all want to be famous right?) because his team was no where around him. Doesn’t the US ARMY preach “battle buddy” and never walk off alone? The video that made him Quasi-famous, ends with Teddy screaming “HELP ME HELP ME” … not “MEDIC!” or using his radio glamorized in Movies.
Teddy released the video of his new combat injury, and you guessed it: If you are injured in combat, you MIGHT be awarded a Purple Heart. In this instance, the US ARMY had to review paperwork, make US ARMY type decisions, and Teddy Daniels made contact with a CANADIAN station and CONFIRMED he was “the guy in the video.” — or something very close to that. Great move dude, because it probably embarrassed the US ARMY into just giving him awards and getting him out of the US ARMY. Who knows. Only Teddy was there, with his camera, sans-radio or teammates.
Moving along – Teddy Daniels has a curious history of police law enforcement jobs. You even may know someone in law enforcement that has 15 years at the same department. Do you know anyone that had 11 police jobs in 11 years? Would you hire anyone at any job that had 11 jobs in 11 years? Seems like an unreliable hire to us – but that’s just our opinion.
Teddy Daniels finally claims he is a successful businessman, and maybe he is successful, because success is subjective. Most criminals think they are successful when they “get away with it”, and others feel they are successful “when other people say it’s true” – or there are legitimate awards issued. It’s our opinion that broken friendships, and a history of evading responsibilities (parenting, job duties, taxes, reporting to state Dept of Revenue, etc) is not how most reasonable people in the United States conduct their affairs. It would make us look bad.
Somehow, Teddy Daniels can press on and adapt through any hardship – so we do give him credit for morphing and changing and adapting like some kind of alien species that won’t just enjoy some stability. Teddy Daniels feeds on hate and negativity. Maybe he enjoys the pain? Maybe Maybe Maybe…
If you ask Teddy Daniels “What exactly do you do for a living?” he may tell you that he is 100% Military Service Disabled, or Social Security Disabled or both. Maybe he will say, “I’m a Politician” or “I’m a consultant” or … “I’m a brand ambassador for a whiskey business”. Even if all of that is accurate and true, fantastic for him.
Teddy Daniels is a human at the end of the day. We have no idea what he is when he wakes up in the morning because we refuse to sleep with him.
Teddy Daniels most recent adventure involves announcing his attempt to get elected Dare County Sheriff, in the North Carolina coastline. In closing, we just hope he retires soon because it’s not fair to have a 12 Page Resume full of useless crap we all have to keep track of. Our hope is that handcuffs and jail are part of his retirement plan. Little does he know most Sheriff’s in the USA have some jurisdiction over the County Jails, which should bring him relief knowing he has an emergency place to sleep / eat / fart if he breaks up with his new wife, and chases down wife #5, 6, 7, etc. We just don’t know. You don’t know. Teddy doesn’t know.